As I was on my way to campus, I had the
misfortune of dealing with a car mishap. I ended up hitting a medium which
caused one of my tires to go flat, but I was able to get my car across the
snowy intersection and into a nearby parking lot of a shopping plaza. All of
last year I had to deal with so many automobile issues that experiencing this situation
so soon in the beginning of the year pushed my mental limits; it was the topper
to a bundle of stressors in my current moment of life. While I waited for my
grandfather to come help me, I sat in my car with the music playing at its
loudest capacity (which isn’t that loud because my speakers blew out). At any
given moment of distress, I often turn to music as an initial attempt to ease
my nerves.
During my wait, I seethed at the falling snow which was the result of my accident on behalf of another individual. I had never hated the winter as much as I did this this year. The current incident aside, the bitter coldness that chilled through my bones only exemplified my dislike of the season. But as my anxiety lessened and I focused on the descending snowflakes amidst my dome of instrumental music, I noted how beautiful the snow actually was.
I remembered from last week’s class that a peer decided to create a snowflake for her Altered Book project because it symbolized her dream of coming to America from India, whose country didn’t not experience such a natural event. Something as simple as a snowflake can mean something much deeper to someone else. It made me reflect on my current state of mind from the past several months and how easily my mood depresses. I’ve been fearful of things that had yet to come and unsatisfied with what I didn’t have yet. But there are so many things in my life to be thankful of, even all of the things that seemed too simple, that I’ve started overlooking because I experience them so frequently.
This realization seemed obvious and had come to mind a handful of other times, but in this particular moment it hit me a bit harder. It may not be the final step in my progression of a healthier state of mind, but it would be a big leap in the path.
During my wait, I seethed at the falling snow which was the result of my accident on behalf of another individual. I had never hated the winter as much as I did this this year. The current incident aside, the bitter coldness that chilled through my bones only exemplified my dislike of the season. But as my anxiety lessened and I focused on the descending snowflakes amidst my dome of instrumental music, I noted how beautiful the snow actually was.
I remembered from last week’s class that a peer decided to create a snowflake for her Altered Book project because it symbolized her dream of coming to America from India, whose country didn’t not experience such a natural event. Something as simple as a snowflake can mean something much deeper to someone else. It made me reflect on my current state of mind from the past several months and how easily my mood depresses. I’ve been fearful of things that had yet to come and unsatisfied with what I didn’t have yet. But there are so many things in my life to be thankful of, even all of the things that seemed too simple, that I’ve started overlooking because I experience them so frequently.
This realization seemed obvious and had come to mind a handful of other times, but in this particular moment it hit me a bit harder. It may not be the final step in my progression of a healthier state of mind, but it would be a big leap in the path.
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