Cyber World

            I was very aware that a lot of people were intensively engrossed with their cellphones as our final peers presented their fear assignment. I don’t think checking your phone every now-and-then is a problem, but obviously and excessively staring at a screen while your peers are speaking and expressing themselves is disrespectful.

            So many people live so much of their lives through a screen. I used to be victim to this, but now I prefer to experience what life has to offer in the real world. It doesn’t matter so much that people do this in general, but paying more attention to an electronic device during class isn’t the better thing to do. 

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Class Take Away #13

            I knew this particular class was going to be more intense than the others since it was specifically scheduled to talk about one of the deepest part of a person’ psyche. Opening up about your fears takes a lot of courage and I wasn’t sure if the class would be ready to handle all of the intimacy that was possibly going to happen, but it seems that a lot of people have become comfortable within their environment throughout this semester. Personally, I am not connected with anyone in the classroom and it takes a lot of work for me to be able to open up with anyone in general—and unfortunately, amidst my reluctant nervousness once it was my turn to speak, my mind jumbled up and I stated only the basis of my fear. In retrospect, if I had continued further with what was mentally rehearsed in my head, I could have rambled about of a lot of things nestled underneath the general worry that time is moving too fast, and honestly, I’m just not fully ready to do that with people I don’t know so perhaps it was better that way.

I forgot to bring in my tangible representation of my fear in class but I did show a picture. I was actually really upset that I left it behind, but it was too late by the time I realized it. April 20^th was not the day to be stressed so I just let the disappointment slip from my mind. I constructed an hourglass with a couple of jars, sand, superglue, yarn, and coasters that I painted. Instead of being a steady stream of sand falling to the other end, the sand pours down to represent that it feels like time is moving way too fast. I feel like I’ll run out of time to do everything I want to do and learn everything I want to learn. 

            It seems some people are unhappy with how class went. I thought it went pretty well, despite that a few people didn’t create physical mediums of their fear. We don’t know anyone’s situation so we can’t be quick to judge… which is something that was even brought up in class by Mr. Dobson. I am just impressed that everyone was able to say something about a concept that is so intrapersonal. Someone had mentioned that the class was starting to feel a lot like group therapy, and while I agree with that notion (not in a negative connation), this class is not group therapy, and therefore, I don’t think we should be expected to give the entirety of hearts and souls to the class when it’s something that could be very difficult for some people. However, I definitely see a lot of heart and soul being poured out already, and there definitely should be a little heart and soul showing in everything we create, speak, and write.

I'm a little disappointed that I forget to post this on time, but alas, wine tends to lull me out of my nocturnal patterns. 

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I Don't Wanna be That Old Lady That Looks Back on Her Life and Regrets NOT Doing Things

1.     Is the fear you identified for this project a fear, phobia, anxiety, or worry?

My fear is a worry. The thought is something that I am often worried about, but it hasn’t fucked me over (yet).

2.     In what ways do you notice fear in your life?

I don’t experience a lot of fear in my life anymore. I’m generally a go-with-the-flow kind of person but this particular worry is preventing me from flowing in different directions that could lead to great things. My main concerns involve the indefinite future; I used to have a set path for myself, but now that road is cracked and scattered. Now I’m just stumbling around in the dirt and rumble with too much indecisiveness clouding my mind.

3.     What does fear keep you from experiencing?

Fear is preventing me from experiencing more experiences. With so little time to do everything that I want to do, I don’t know what I should focus on first. I’m afraid that I’ll settle on the wrong things, thus wasting time from doing the right things, but then it’ll be too late.

4.     What is the use of fear in your life? 

The use of fear hinders life. And it’s hindering my learning and experiences.

5.     How does fear affect your life, especially in terms of creativity?

It affects my creativity by preventing more creative opportunities. If I were to stop worrying about the possibility of wasting time and just go for the things that interest me, I could be exploding with all sorts of creativity.

6.     What form does your fear take?

My fear takes a double form, cognitively and behaviorally. It causes me inner turmoil and is my main form of life stressor and prevents me from taking up more opportunities.

7.     How does making a creative project about your fear impact how you view it?

By creating a tangible representation of my fear, it allows me to face it more directly. This assignment in general is making me look at this fear more constructively instead of just ignoring it and hoping my life will accidentally fall into place the right way. Being able to hold the fear makes me feel more in control of the situation. 

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Peaches and Rainbows and Netflix Binges

The obstacles preventing me from creating my Fear Assignment . . .

                           i.          Not having enough time to create it.

§  What if I sacrifice a week of my social life and alone time because unfortunately life just can’t always be peaches and rainbows and Netflix binges?

§  What if I ignore my other homework assignments and focus only on this one because it’s more entertaining and beneficial to my well-being?

§  What if I pull an all-nighter with some Red Bull?

                         ii.          Forgetting to create it because I lose track of time.

§  What if I put post-it notes all over my room and car to remind me?

§  What if I tell all my friends, family, and coworkers to call/text/send a carrier pigeon to remind me?

§  What if I use this act of forgetfulness to my advantage to further elaborate on my fear (but what is my fear?—stay tuned)?

                        iii.          Becoming too stressed about the assignment so my brain represses the deadline, thus I forget to do it.

§  What if I take up yoga and eat (somewhat) healthier foods to boost good brain chemicals so I am more relaxed and positive?

§  What if I stay on campus to complete it since that environment makes me feel more focused & productive?

§  What if I pay one of my crafty friends to do it for me?

                        iv.          Procrastinating (because I would rather be doing other things) so I don’t have enough time to complete it with full efficiency.

§  What if I realize how much of a breeze this assignment is compared to other class assignments and just get it out of the way?

§  What if I tell my grandma to not allow me to leave the house or turn on the television until I complete everything?

§  What if I recite “work now, play later” in my head over and over until I’m brainwashed into being a timelier & more productive college student?

                          v.          Not being talented enough to accurately represent my mental idea.

§  What if I just stop worrying about my lack thereof hands-on art skills since my talents lie within the digital and word realm?

§  What if I simply embrace the work that I am able to accomplish instead of focusing on the work that I can cannot accomplish?

§  What if I have a bunch of my friends tell me how awesome my completed assignment is to boast my confidence?

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Seeing the World Through a Geometric Lens

A Brain Injury Has Turned A Man Into A Mathematical Genius
(click the title, dudes)

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Look a Little Deeper

            At first glance, it may seem that someone’s general lack of concern or evident selfishness is linked to apathy. Sometimes that absence of emotion is linked to something beyond the perceived understanding from a bystander. It’s not always that the person just doesn’t care—that care could be masked by an imperfect balance of neurotransmitters, preventing certain motivations, energies, and feelings to persist externally. Not all apathy is defendable, perhaps most isn’t, but we shouldn’t always assume the worst from the holder.

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